Welcome to our online youth lesson for this week. We continue to offer in-person sessions at Port Ann Wesleyan Church from 7-8:15 p.m. each Wednesday. Catch up with online lessons here and consider joining us in person on Wednesdays!
We’ll kick off this week with Casting Crown’s song, “Only Jesus.”
Please continue to pray for Pastor Paul and the rest of the Sheets family as they make final preparations for Monday’s online memorial service for Sally. We encourage all of our youth families to tune in if possible at 7 p.m. at www.sallysheets.com
Julianna Jordan got the news recently that her knee injury is unfortunately a torn ACL. She may be going for surgery on Friday, if the insurance company cooperates, and faces a long recovery. Please keep her in prayers.
Hunter Sauers continues to improve and recover after his surgery for a broken hand. The family is praying there is no long-term implications from the break. He will be going in Friday to have pins removed and see what next steps may look like.
Also, as we head into the final few days leading up to Easter, let’s pray for the message of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross — and His resurrection — to reach as many people as possible as an opportunity to connect people with His salvation.
As Christians, there should be a certain level of excitement and a newfound zeal in spreading God’s message thanks to the empty grave left behind by the risen Savior that we celebrate this Easter season.
— —
Catching a glimpse of a newer version of the animated Scooby Doo series recently, I was shocked to see a heightened focus on budding relationships between members of the team. Fred and Daphne. Velma and Shaggy. What happened to simply solving mysteries and scarfing down Scooby snacks? It provided yet again how mainstream television, movies and media are so hyper-focused on relationships.
In fact, looking back at popular movies and television shows, it is hard to think of any that don’t revolve around some sort of love story, some relationship that runs some sort of up and down course that ultimately gets resolved in a neat little bow by the closing credits.
No wonder young people today feel the need to absorb themselves in a relationship with others, to the point where they define themselves by that relationship. They fall in love (or think they do) and when it doesn’t work out, they are crushed beyond all hope.
In the first of several lessons focused on Godly teen relationships that will be scattered throughout the next couple months, we wanted today to look at one of the biggest myths about relationships … it is OK to be single.
Teenagers are in the process of finding themselves, determining their future and part of that includes developing independence from the relationship they have with their parents and immediate families. This a natural process — albeit a difficult one for both parents and teens. It almost seems silly, in hindsight, that as we attempt to gain our independence, we are so focused on trying to tie ourselves down with another human-focused relationship.
The “human-focused” reference is important … because in this period of being single before exploring relationships with other humans, it is vital to first create and strengthen your relationship with God. He is the light that will guide you to finding yourself first, and then, when ready and on His time, your potential life partner.
The concept is sort of illustrated in the story of the 10 virgins waiting for the bridegroom found in Matthew 25:1-13 (NKJV):
“Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept.
“And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom [a]is coming; go out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.
“Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’
“Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.
Obviously, this parable is used by Jesus to illustrate the importance of mindfully preparing for the return of Jesus, but it also makes a good point for those who find themselves obsessed with relationships. There is a good chance that if you haven’t found that special someone yet, it is because God is still working on you. There are still things you need to do to be ready for a relationship when that door opens, and like the unprepared virgins who had no light in their lanterns, you don’t want to go into an early relationship without God’s light and direction — or you will likely be doomed to fail.
So, what are some things you can be proactively doing to be the best you ahead of jumping into any relationship?
- Realize that your value IS NOT in your relationship with others. Too many young people think there is something wrong with them if they aren’t dating like their friends. They think they aren’t strong enough to stand on their own, however, that strength and self-awareness is critical if you want to eventually be in a relationship that is equally yoked.
- Realize that your value IS in your relationship with God. Having a strong foundation with Him at the core will only improve your odds of finding and building a lasting relationship with someone equally focused on God. He will help you determine appropriate boundaries and the qualities needed in a special someone who shares your values in faith.
- Find and develop your God-given talents. We all have them — abilities that are unique to use that God has provided in which we can use to honor Him and minister to others. By knowing your gifts and what direction you can use them in your life to serve God, you can find someone who will support those ambitions up front. Imagine finding out too late that your talent, for example, is singing, but already being married to someone who isn’t at all interested in supporting your God-driven musical efforts.
- Build a strong foundation in other ways, too. The more stability you have in your life before entering a relationship, the less room there is for someone else to potentially control you. For example, if you go into a relationship with no financial stability, you could soon learn to become completely dependent on another’s finances to a point where you feel trapped. The same can be said about stability in your education, your work or your social outlets. Developing a close group of godly friends who know you and support you will help you eventually find the right relationship for you and support you when that relationship may hit some trials.
Allen Parr, who offers an online ministry called The Beat that we have used at various times offers the following advice to single people before they enter relationships. He has some experience, not meeting his eventual wife until he was 40 years old.
What points did Allen make that resonated with you? What are some ways you personally should improve yourself before tackling a relationship with someone else? If you need to talk about any of this, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
